I feel like its been so long since I have posted anything.  But I have had a lot on my mind, though just one thing at a time I will write about here.  Since this is fresh in my mind I would like to blog about it now…my daughter encouraged me tremendously the other day.  Now you have to know that my daughter, Brooklynn, is only two and a half…well I guess almost three now.  But I believe the Lord used her to really open my eyes to my sad, grumpy and sinful state.  I was just having a rough day.  I had been to the dentist in the morning and had gotten two fillings.  So when I returned home, my mouth was still frozen, I couldn’t eat and I was just exhausted…and there to greet me were my wonderful, yet energetic but also somewhat discontent children!  They had a good morning with their Dad,  Braeden had a little nap, Brooklynn played nice, as she usually does in the mornings.  But when I got home it was just that ‘special’ time of day, the time right after lunch when Brooklynn is tired, yet not tired enough to give in to a nap, and Braeden wanting mommy only for one reason, to fill his tummy.   So I had two choices, I could ask God to give me strength to get through the afternoon, or I could try to do it on my own strength.  I chose the latter…not a good choice and my actions reflected that.  Brooklynn spent a lot of time crying, as did Braeden and even I ended up in tears on the couch when Daddy came to the rescue.  But in that moment when I broke down, my sweet, soft hearted little girl comes over to the couch when she sees my tears, “ooooh mommy it’s okay, we all like you…I love you and Daddy loves you and Braeden loves you too.”  This child has no idea how that hit me!  The wisest thing I heard all day came from a two year old!  My family loves me, even when I make mistakes!  They love me, even when they’ve had a visit from monster mom about 15 minutes before that!  I felt like God was speaking through Brooklynn in that moment as well.  God loves me even when I blow it…even when I ignore his open arms saying, “Carma, my child, give your frustrations and grumpiness over to me, let me carry you through the tough day, I want to be your rock to rely on, I love you.”  I have such an awesome and caring God. And I feel so blessed also, to have a little girl in my house hold who is letting the Lord use her, even if she doesn’t really realize it yet.  I see her spiritual gift perhaps of encouragement coming out in her, even at such a young age.

Does anyone else out there get completely overwhelmed with the expectations that are placed on you?  Lately I have been feeling like every area of life is bombarding me to be at the top of my game.  Eat healthy – don’t eat processed food, only homemade and organic food! Be the best parent – have disciplined and obedient kids!  Be a great wife – be everything they need you to be! Be a great friend -  be there always!  Be a godly woman – read my bible everyday, pray and put God first always! Be fit – workout everyday!  Be organized and clean -  keep the house clean, change the sheets every week, never have laundry sitting around, and never have dishes sitting in the sink for more than an hour!  AHHHHHHHHHHH!  I think I might just be making you all overwhelmed just by reading the last few sentences!  But seriously, at times in my life I look at these several areas and think, how can I do it?  How can I be a godly wife, parent and friend? And keep up with all things!  Reality is that we can’t right?  So what do we choose to put first?  For me it changes.  Sometimes during the year I feel like I can have time to focus a little more on health and fitness.  That time is not now (especially not near Christmas!) I still try to make sure we eat some fruit and veggies eat day, but sorry, no homemade bread here in the last few weeks.  Is it really a big deal if I make a store bought lasagna versus a homemade one?  Not really.  This season of life is not really allowing for much time for workouts or intense walks to burn off calories.  My husband and I have good intentions of doing some type of routine workout after the kids go to bed, but always end up chilling on the couch or catching up about our days.  This is the season to focus on raising my kids.  We are still figuring out how to discipline and what parenting is beyond those baby years!  This is the season to be a great wife…actually its always that season!  And of course its always the season to put Christ first too.  Sometimes, though, to be honest, that doesn’t happens.  But as I write this I am reminded that if I always make Jesus “the season”, those other areas will happen as they should.  So, Tis the Season to put Jesus first.

I remember being so excited to set up the Christmas tree when I was a kid.  And much to my dismay we were probably the last people to get around to buying a tree and setting it up!  Often we just had to wait until my Dad was home from being on the road to get the tree inside and into the flimsy stand.  Then it was agony waiting for it to thaw enough to start decorating!!  I remember digging through the box of old Christmas decorations we hadn’t seen in a whole year!  Some were homemade; (they seem to have disappeared from my Moms collection now??)  some were those balls with the miles of thread wrapped around and if it snagged it didn’t look so pretty anymore and then the fewer nicer ornaments that were probably gifts.   But I remember that feeling of maybe what some may call, ‘the Christmas spirit’.  As time went on and I grew older this feeling faded.  Even my first Christmas married I was so excited that I could decide when to put up our tree…I think it when up not too long after Halloween!  But Christmas wasn’t the same – there is something about kids and Christmas.  Richard and I began to see that in Brooklynn this year.  When we pulled out the tree and all the decorations she was so taken back by the beauty.  And believe me our tree is not much to look at!  But she was just in awe of the beauty of all the cheap ornaments, garland and dollar store decorations.  She has redecorated the bottom half of our tree many times in the last 2 weeks because it so fun for her.  Every where we go she is amazed by the lights, Santa and reindeer decorations, the Nativity scenes, candy canes and any thing Christmas.  Brooklynn tells me every few days, “Mommy its going to be Christmas soon.”  We have even been practicing singing Happy Birthday to Jesus about 5 times a day. (I light candles to blow out for an after potty reward and before they can be blown out I must sing along!) Thanks to all the commercials on a new kids channel (treehouse doesn’t have too many commercials) she is learning to tell us what she wants for Christmas.  When we made a list for Grandma she knew exactly what to put on it, anything princess!  So we now have our work cut out to make sure in Christmas’ to come to be teaching our kids the true meaning and reason to Celebrate!  Its hard to compete with the worldly reasons of course, which of course are not all bad.  But we want to instill in our kids how to give generously to others and be thankful to God for sending his son as a baby.  All this said it warms my heart to see my daughter laugh and smile at every thing Christmas; from lights, to candy canes; from Santa and his reindeer to her asking to sing Happy Birthday to baby Jesus just one more time.

Have any of you Moms or Dads out there experienced the blessing of your child praying for you?  I did for the first time the other day.  Brooklynn (2.5) has been learning about prayer since we brought her home from the hospital.  In our house we pray before meals and we pray before bed, but we also pray about things during the day.  We pray and thank God for the sun, or we pray and ask God to send the sun on a cold and cloudy day.  We pray sometimes when we get mad at each other.  We pray if we have lost something and need to find it.  We pray for animals or sometimes I have been asked to even pray for a stuffed animal.  I have been trying to get Brooklynn to pray, but she has never wanted.  She just you, “No you pray Mommy.”  I have explained that God likes to hear from her, and its just like talking to Mommy.  Just say what you want.  So finally the other day, I was having a lot of pain in my neck and had mentioned it a few times that I was hurting.  Brooklynn wanted to kiss it better, but I told her I needed more than that.  “We could pray”  I told her.  “Do you want to pray?”  “No you, Mommy.”  She said.  I told her she could try if she wanted too.  I paused.  Then came the sweetest prayer (at least to my ears, and I am sure it made God smile too to hear from this little child!)  “God make Mommy betterd” (betterd, that how she says better ) It was the best feeling ever, to have my child step out and bring my hurt and ask God to make it better.  She soon wanted to run down the hall with me, an activity I had been reluctant to do before because my neck hurt so bad, but unfortunately God didn’t heal me instantly.  Although what testimony if he had.  Nonetheless it was an amazing experience and I only pray that Brooklynn’s faith will grow and grow and grow, and I look forward to many more chances to hear her prayers and see her growth in my Savior.  And my biggest prayer is to see Brooklynn and my son, Braeden come to a knowledge and belief in the saving grace of Jesus Christ.  But for now I will rejoice in their innocence as small children and know that my God cares for them, and if I and my husband are faithful in raising them right in the Lord’s eyes that he be gracious to us.  It reminds me of the song,  “He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it, he who started the work will be faithful to complete it in you!”