Here I go again…I feel like writing every time I have a major problem. But maybe it helps to let out my thoughts. So my sweet Brooklynn is 4 1/2 and we continue to struggle with going to the bathroom. I wouldn’t say she has accidents really, but she wets enough to be uncomfortable, and sometime show through to her pants. This has happened off and on since she was toilet trained just over 2 years ago. From day one of trying to train her I felt like it was a struggle. I didn’t know how to do it and I lost my patience easily! I wish so much I could go back and do it again! With Braeden I have been so relaxed and he was so so so easy to train! There was almost zero stress and it has been a breeze. I know what you’re thinking, whats the big deal about a pee spot on the underwear? I don’t even know! It’s just this thing that has consumed both me and her, I think. She has to go, she squirms and worms forever and finally either gives in herself or I try to drop major hints about going to the bathroom. I bribe with candy…trying to not make a big deal about it. But inside I am going nutty! Usually by then though, she needs new underwear, which just drives me crazy. Why can’t she just wear one pair of underwear a day? Is that not too much to ask out of a 4 year old? AHHH! I try to relax about it, not remind her for a few days, and it usually gets better for a time, but somehow we slip right back. She has a friend over, gets waaay to busy and has wet her underwear too much has to change them. I remind her of my dislike about it (in a calm way usually) and still we slip back into the “I must hold in my pee for all time mode” Yikes.
Tonight at Bible Study though we were talking about how Satan uses pain in our lives so that we can blame God or others causing more confusion and craziness in our lives. I got to thinking right away how this problem we are having is exactly that! Not that I am blaming God or anyone else for what Brooklynn and I are going through, but maybe Satan is using this “painful” experience to bump me off course, to take my focus off my goal of being diligent servant of Jesus by being the best Mom I can be. When Brooklynn is in the thick of her struggle I can only think of one thing…Oh please oh please God let her get to the bathroom on her own with out a push or struggle! When I write this down it seems so silly, but really this is a big deal if its distracting me from who I need to be. I wish I had a nice ending to this post. But I don’t so far. All I can do is start again tomorrow. Pray that God will not only help Brooklynn make right choices about getting to the bathroom on time, but pray that my God will free me from being consumed by this silly thing. If Satan is mucking around in the situation, I want him GONE! (Since when did Satan concern himself with potty training? I suppose he can show up any place a Jesus follower like me will be, in everyday life) Tomorrow is a new day. His mercies are new every morning, Great is thy faithful oh God my father.

It’s been so long since I’ve written here.  I don’t even remember the last time I wrote; maybe even over a year ago!  Wow!  Anyways, let me just right back into the swing of things here…4pm.  4pm is not a good hour for me.  Neither is 4AM actually, but I usually don’t have to deal with too much anymore at 4AM.  4pm is when my household seems to be breaking at the seams.  Does this happen to you?  Morning is great, the kids are generally happy; they watch a show or two; eat breakfast from 7:30AM till about 10AM and play a little; eat a snack at about 10:30AM, color, draw, do play dough, destroy whatever area of the house I am not cleaning; then we have lunch.  After lunch we maybe play outside for a bit and come in chill with a snack and show around 3pm and then something magical happens around 4pm.  I don’t know what it is; and let me tell you it’s not the magical in the conventional sense. Like the kind you think of in the fairy tales, like when Cinderella’s fairy godmother shows up or sleeping beauty awakes from the kiss from her true love.  This kind of magic is very very dark, not sparkly or cheery.  4pm rolls around and Braeden suddenly realizes he hates the bowl his snack is in.  Brooklynn starts yelling that she is still “drinky” and I haven’t gotten her water yet.  Or else for some strange reason I am trying to accomplish something like preparing supper and I have two helpers that cannot agree on which stool they should each stand on or where it should be placed.  All hell seems to break lose and time and time again I find myself looking at the clock after I have thrown up my hands and said, “I’m going crazy!”; IT IS 4:02PM!  It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why this happens really.  I mean, its just that point in the day where everyone could use a nap.  We’ve been together all day doing normal, everyday, non-exciting things and now we are tired and the kids basically bored.  So today when that time hit, my super mom powers kicked in…well maybe it was a little idea from the Lord, but nonetheless, it was a great energy boosting activity and before I could snap back at my kids in their crazy hour, I popped in some tunes and we danced our frustrations away.  There was no boredom, no worries about drinks, or colors of bowls, and best of all no crying!  It was so fun!!!  We blasted the tunes and sang some praise songs!  I even got in trouble for turning the music down! The kids had a blast and I even snuck away a few times to peel a few potatoes for supper.  So I think my next step is to just come up with a list of crazy fun activities to do in our 4PM hour.  It may not work everytime, but it may just bring a little joy and save a few hairs on my head somedays.

Happy dancing, Carma

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First of all, its been forever since I have posted something.  I think about it a lot, but have been ummm distracted with life! I feel like this post will be different than others in the past.  In my past posts I try to have a theme and write with the best of my ability.  Today I am tired.  So tired, physically and emotionally, and I am sure in other ways too!  Being a mom to preschoolers is so hard!  I don’t want this to be a ‘cry-fest’ or a self pity party, but its going to turn into that.  Everyday I wake up and the same thing fills my day.  Trying to respond quickly and fast to the demands being thrown at me.  The whining, the crying, the messes, the snacks, the discontentment, the laundry, the constant runny noses and the ongoing colds, the dishes, the meals, the diapers and the list goes on!  I feel like my household is going crazy and I feel out of control lately.  I try to blame it on things like our house is too small and there is limited space to play and live, or we can’t spend enough time outside cause its not yet nice enough be out for super long periods of time.  Or maybe the problem is that Braeden doesn’t walk yet and that is why he is so discontent.  Or maybe the problem is that Brooklynn gets up to early in the morning and doesn’t get enough sleep.  I seem to find many problems and complain or whine to my husband.  My husband is amazing and does encourage me, he does.  I am so thankful for that.  But I know it comes down to my relationship with my Lord.  What can I say…it lacks.  But then again I want to blame that on my busy, child filled life!  I know that I can find time to spend with my ever-loving and caring Father.  My spiritual life is evident in my day to day responses and attitudes.  I need Jesus to renew and fill my life with the fruits of the Spirit.  I desire so badly to raise my children the correct way.  I desire with all my heart that they will come to know the God that I know and follow and serve him fervently!  And as it stands now, I believe, my love for Jesus is not shining through to them as much as it should be.  Things need to change around here…we need peace in our household.  I read a devotional the other day, and walked away with this – “Don’t be misled-you cannot mock the justice of God.  You will always harvest what you plant” Galatians 6:7.  My children are my garden and I need to be very conscientious of what I plant into their lives, so that a great harvest willed  be reaped of their lives!  Today will be my first, new day of being very conscientious of that.  I will try to be disciplined in my walk with the Lord so that He will shine through my life to my children.